Running on E

Most days, I’m on survival mode. Just here—trying to make it. I wake up with my “mom cape” already on, because in my case, it doesn’t come off, not even in my sleep. I stare at the cabinet and think, Do I cook breakfast or let them eat cereal and Pop-Tarts? Then comes the guilt: Am I a bad mom if I don’t cook?

I see other moms out here killing it—cooking full meals, packing cute snacks, managing everything like clockwork. And here I am, just… making it.

But that’s where we mess up—comparison. That mess will have you doubting yourself in a life nobody else is even living but you. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Some days, I push through no matter how I feel. Other days, I just need to sit in my feelings.

There’s always something to do. I’ll start one thing, think of five more, then—
“Mom, can you fix me something?”
“Mom, look at this!”
“Mom, he hit me!”
Kids arguing.
The baby—my new stepper—wobbling around, pulling things down, learning the world.
And me? Still wearing this cape, trying to hold it all down until I just… can’t.

I get tired.
Tired of doing it all.
Tired of solving every problem, making every decision, holding up the weight of this household.
Even when I try to rest, guilt creeps in—because nothing ever feels complete.

It’s exhausting being the engine that keeps everything running.

Running on E.
And today, I give myself permission to sit in that feeling.
Not to fix it.
Not to fake it.
Just to feel it.

Because even on E, I’m still here. Still showing up.
And sometimes… that’s enough.

If you’re running on E too, just know—you’re not alone. We’re not failing. We’re just human.

Know Who You Are: You Can Do Anything

For the Young Ladies
By Parissa

I Used to Think “I Can’t”

When I was a young girl, I was a dreamer. There were places I wanted to go and things I wanted to be—but I often felt stuck in “I CAN’T.” I was raised in a single-parent household. My mom did her best with what she had and what she knew at the time. I used to think we lacked so much. But looking back, we always had food, clothes, a home, and transportation. Thank you, Mom! Dang—it just hit me—we really never went without.

So why did I think we did? I compared myself to other kids. I didn’t wear name-brand clothes or trendy hairstyles. We didn’t have a fancy car or a home we actually owned. I saw what others had and wanted those things. At school, I dealt with mean kids who bullied others for how they looked and dressed. I thought I was lacking, but I wasn’t. I had what I needed.

Young lady, that’s something you need to understand. Appreciate what you have right now. Forget what anybody says. KNOW WHO YOU ARE. The time will come when you can get the things you want.

Thoughts + Feelings = Actions

It took me a long time to figure this out. What I truly lacked was care for my mind and emotions. We’re about to dive deep, so if you’re still with me, stay close.

No one ever taught me how to handle my emotions. I didn’t know it was okay to feel sad, angry, or confused—and that those feelings didn’t make me weak. They made me human.

I also didn’t realize how my thoughts shaped my actions. I told myself I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. And guess what? I believed it. I shrunk. I hid my gifts. I second guessed what I was capable of. I even started to repeat the negative things other people said about me. That thinking led me to rebel and do things I wasn’t proud of.

What I Learned

Those moments, even the ones I’m not proud of, became part of my story. They taught me lessons school never could. Eventually, I got tired of feeling lost. I got tired of pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. I started seeking truth, healing, and purpose. Over time, I realized my past doesn’t define me—my choices moving forward do.  What you do today shapes your tomorrow.

Still Becoming

I’m still learning to forgive myself. I’m learning to speak kindly to myself. I don’t always walk into rooms with my head held high, but I don’t walk in with it low either. I’m somewhere in the middle, figuring it out day by day.

But one thing I know: I’ve come a long way. I speak up more than I ever have. I’m naming the things I’ve carried for too long, especially the things from childhood no one taught me how to handle.

Why I’m Writing to You

I’m writing to you because I don’t want you to carry what I carried. I don’t want you to wait until adulthood to start healing, unlearning, and believing in yourself.

But even if you do wait, it’s okay.

None of us are perfect. We will fall. We will make mistakes. But we have to get back up and keep going.

It’s not too late for me. And I want it to be early enough for you.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to know you’re worth it.

Your mistakes don’t cancel your purpose.
You’re allowed to grow, to change, and to rise.

Know who you are. Know what you carry. And know that you can do anything.

Love,

Parissa